


everything will be alright

by lhknox



Series: i will leave my heart at the door [1]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Divorce, F/F, Hope, Love, its sad but then it's happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-15
Updated: 2017-06-15
Packaged: 2018-11-14 12:04:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11207700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lhknox/pseuds/lhknox
Summary: "“Do you still love me?”Alex smiles. “I find myself praying for your happiness more than my own.”"or,Alex and Maggie have been divorced for five years. And then Maggie comes back to town.





	everything will be alright

**Author's Note:**

> it's 2am so if there's any mistakes u can blame the time
> 
> this isn't as sad as i thought it would be even tho it hurt to write.

It was raining the day she left. 

 

Wind so strong it howled against the windows, and rain leaking in wherever it got the chance.

 

Loud cracks of thunder that shook the apartment, and shocks of lightning that illuminated the darkest corners of their lives.

 

It wasn’t even one of their worst fights, but it escalated too quickly and neither of them could really stop it. It had started with a passive aggressive comment about working late, and ended with a hastily packed bag and the slam of the front door.

 

Alex doesn’t even remember who started the whole thing. 

 

She just remembers the shock of that slam, the finality of it all. 

 

Because they had fought before, of course they had fought before. And there had been nights Alex had crashed at Kara’s, and Maggie at James’s, but they always ended with an apology and make up sex. It always ended with them both remembering the promise they held in their hearts,  _ til death do us part. _

 

There was something about this time, though, that felt different.

 

It had been raining the day Maggie left Alex.

 

And it was raining the day she came back.

 

\--

 

Alex doesn’t know why she agreed to coffee with her ex-wife.

 

That’s a lie, she knows exactly why. It’s because she’s always been a sucker for Maggie’s voice. There was something about it that just got under Alex’s skin, burrowing deep into her being. It had been five years since they’d last seen each other, and when Alex got the call on a quiet Monday morning she thought she was dreaming.

 

“ _ Alex? _ ” Alex sits up straight in her chair. 

 

“Maggie. Hey.”

 

Winn whirls around at the sound of Maggie’s name.

 

_ “Maggie?”  _ he mouths, and Alex waves him away.

 

“ _ How you been, Danvers? _ ” Maggie asks, and despite the slight crackle of the phone connection, she sounds exactly the same as she always did. And goddamn, Alex feels her walls begin to crack. Winn tries again to get her attention. She ignores him.

 

“Oh, you know, not bad. Fighting bad guys. Feeding Kara.” Maggie laughs at the joke, and Alex feels like she’s stuck in a timewarp, like she’s been transported back to before her and Maggie had even started dating, when their whole relationship was still in front of them.

 

“How’re you, Maggie?” Alex asks, as though she hadn’t been Facebook stalking her the week prior.

 

“ _ I’m good, I’m good. Actually, I’m going to be in National City next week. _ ”

  
“Oh?”

 

“ _ Yeah. I was wondering…. I was wondering if you wanted to get a coffee while I was in town? _ ”

 

“Coffee.”

 

_ “Next week.” _

 

“With you.”

 

_ “With me.” _

 

“ _ No!” _ Winn mouths at her, trying to pull the phone from her hands. She pushes him away.

 

“Sounds like a plan.”

 

_ “Great, I’ll shoot you a text when I get in. See you, Alex.” _

 

“Later, Maggie.” Alex ends the call and sighing deeply, she rests her head in her hands.

 

“Really, Alex?” Winn almost yells at her. “Maggie? You’re getting coffee with Maggie.”

 

“I… I couldn’t say no.”

 

“Yeah, you could’ve. She left you, remember? She broke your heart--”

 

“I’m aware of what happened between me and my ex-wife, Winnifer.”

 

“No name calling to distract me from the fact you’re going for coffee with Maggie Sawyer next week.”

 

“No butting into other people’s business,” Alex retorts, feeling like a child rather than someone rapidly approaching middle age. She grabs her phone and the few files that sit in front of her, and storms off, unable to sit under Winn’s pity-filled gaze any longer.

 

And she resigns herself to the fact she’ll be a nervous wreck for the rest of the week.

 

\---

 

She’s not surprised to see Kara waiting on her couch when she gets home, a pint of ice cream sitting on the table waiting to be eaten.

 

“I assume Winn called you?” Alex asks as she sets down her bag and grabs two spoons from the kitchen.

 

“The question is,” Kara replies, pulling the lid off the ice cream, “why didn’t  _ you  _ call me?”

 

Alex huffs, and digs into the ice cream. “Because I’m fine.”

 

“No, you’re not. Your ex-wife is coming into town. There’s no way you’re fine.”

 

Alex glares at her sister, the glare that means ‘ _ let me eat my ice cream in peace and I’ll open up to you when I’m ready _ ’.

 

Kara lets her eat chocolate chip cookie dough in silence.

 

“How’s Lena doing?” Alex asks with her mouth full.

 

“Tired,” Kara answers with a soft smile, a smile reserved solely for the thought of Lena and their small, soon-to-be family. “She’s a thousand months pregnant and still working six days a week. I’ll be freaking out until the baby’s born.”

 

Alex laughs. “And then you’ll be freaking out even more, worrying about your wife and your kid.”

 

Alex didn’t think it was possible, but Kara’s smile grows wider at the mention of her unborn child. Alex imagines an alternate universe where their roles were reversed, and Alex was worrying about Maggie and their kid, and Kara was laughing at her impending motherhood. She feels an ache in her chest, for the person she lost, for the plans she never got to live.

 

“I used to think we’d be here by now,” Alex whispers. “That we’d have a big house in the suburbs and a whole mess of animals, and then a kid or two. I thought, hell, I thought we’d give up our jobs eventually and fit into domestic life and just be happy.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Who was I kidding, though. We couldn’t even give up our jobs for each other, let alone a kid. And now I’m almost forty and I’m alone, and-”

 

“You’re not alone, Alex. You’re never alone. You have me.”

 

“And you have Lena sitting at home waiting for you.”

 

“You have Lena as well. And the little Peanut, who’s gonna love their Aunt Alex and need you for advice and stuff.”

 

“It’s… It’s not the same.”

 

“You have a family, Alex. And we love you and will be whatever you need us to be. I promise.”

 

Alex smiles, though it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “But you’ll never be her.”

 

\---

 

Alex is running early. 

 

J’onn could tell she was antsy and let her off work before the end of her shift, which meant she had a plethora of time to get ready to meet Maggie.

 

She’s been sitting at the table for fifteen minutes, nervously bouncing her leg, when she feels a hand on her shoulder.

 

She turns around slowly, not wanting to see Maggie right away, not wanting to see the woman she still loved, the woman she let go.

 

But she can’t delay the inevitable.

 

Maggie looks the same as she did five years ago, all bright eyes and a brighter smile. Alex feels the same feeling in the pit of her stomach that she first felt all those years ago. That she feels whenever she thinks of Maggie for too long.

 

“Danvers. It’s been a hot minute,” she says as Alex stands to hug her.

 

“You gotta get some new lines, Sawyer.”

 

Maggie laughs. “It’s not a line, it’s the truth.” They sit, and almost immediately, a waitress takes their orders.

 

“So,” Maggie says, once they’re alone again, “how’ve you been?”

 

“Not too bad,” Alex replies. “I’ve been busy with work, taking on more responsibilities. Been spending a lot of time with Kara and Lena.”

 

“I remember reading they got married in one of those trash magazines.”

 

“Those magazines are bound to be right every once in awhile; they’re expecting their first kid any day now.”

 

“No kidding!”

 

“Yeah, Kara’s been on edge for nine months and now she’s about to explode waiting for it.”

 

Maggie throws her head back and laughs at her ex-sister-in-law’s antics. Alex pretends that the melody of laughter doesn’t affect her.

 

“Kara could barely get through dinner at the thought of dessert. Nine months with her was probably hell.”

 

Alex laughs, too. “She’s been, uh,  _ enthusiastic _ .”

 

“I bet Lena’s ready to murder her.”

 

Alex leans in conspiratorially. “We all are.”

 

The waitress approaches them once more, bringing them their drinks. Alex uses the few moments between conversations to catch her breath. She has to remind herself that things aren’t like they used to be, no matter how easy it feels with Maggie. Maggie left her. Maggie broke her.

 

“Have you, uh, been seeing anybody?” Maggie asks, and Alex tries not to choke on her coffee.

 

“I, I broke up with my girlfriend recently, actually. Her name’s Diana.”

 

“That’s too bad,” Maggie says with a frown.

 

“She moved to Paris, and we decided long distance wouldn’t work. She’s wonderful, though. What about you?”

 

“I dated a couple people. My girlfriend - ex-girlfriend,  Kate - dumped me a few weeks back.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“She’s mad I came here,” Maggie confesses.

 

“Why are you here, Maggie?” Alex asks, dropping all pretense of polite conversation, wanting to know why her ex-wife has reemerged after five long years.

 

“I’m here for an interview, actually.”

 

“An interview.”

 

“They… they want me to be the captain of the science division.”

 

Alex feels panic rising in her chest with the knowledge that Maggie might relocate to National City, that Maggie will be in charge of liaising with the DEO, that Maggie will once again be very much a part of Alex’s life.

 

“That’s.... That’s wow. Are you gonna take it?”

 

“Well there’s a couple of things to consider.”

 

“Like?” Alex prompts. She can feel Maggie’s eyes bore into her, cutting through the bullshit niceness of the conversation, and going for the jugular.

 

“Like if there’s anything for me here.”

 

A quiet tension settles between them as Maggie’s words hang in the air. Alex feels like she can’t breathe, fighting to take a breath without it seeming like nothing’s wrong.

 

The way Maggie stares at her… Alex feels the chemistry between them, the feelings that have always been there, despite the time and space. But she feels the walls she erected after Maggie left closing in tightly, refusing to let her get hurt again.

 

A ringtone blares loudly, shaking them both from their respective thoughts. Alex answers it quickly.

 

“Hey, Kara,” she says, without even looking at the screen; the only person who still  _ calls  _ her is her sister. She frowns as she hears the panic in Kara’s voice, a yell of pain coming from the background. “It’s okay, I’m on my way. I’ll be there as soon as I can, promise. Love you.”

 

Alex turns to Maggie. “I’m so sorry, Mags, I’ve got to go. Lena’s gone into labour, and Kara doesn’t trust herself to fly her to the hospital and she’s too beside herself to drive.”

 

“Of course, go!”

 

“We’ll catch up again before you leave,” Alex half-promises.

 

“For sure. And Alex?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Congrats.”

 

\---

 

Elle Zora Danvers is named for her mother’s birth name, Zor El. She is named for the L of Luthor and Lena and Love. 

 

(And though, Kara will never  _ ever  _ admit it to her wife, she is named for Elle Woods, one of the best female characters in filmic history.)

 

And Alex loves Elle like she never knew was possible, a small being so tiny and precious and fierce. Alex feels her heart swell to fit Elle into her life, she feels the walls that protect her open up enough to let in this tiny, perfect human.

 

Alex holds Elle in her arms, just a few hours after her birth, and she silently swears to protect her, and all of the people she loves. Elle, Kara, Lena, J’onn, Eliza, Winn, James.

 

And she can’t stop herself from adding Maggie onto the end of that list.

 

Later that night, she sends Maggie an update, apologizing for cutting their coffee short, and attaching a photo of Elle along with it.

 

She goes to sleep smiling when Maggie responds with a love heart at the end of her message.

 

\---

 

“I bought you a present,” Maggie says holding out a bag as she approaches Alex’s table. “Actually, I bought Elle a present.” It’s the second time they’ve gone for coffee, and Alex feels a lot more confident, a lot happier, this time around.

 

“You didn’t have to do that,” Alex admonishes, taking the bag and having a peek.

 

“I need to make my way back into Kara’s good books somehow.” Alex lets out an ‘aww’ as she pulls out a small onesie with the House of El insignia on the little chest. And she laughs - loudly - when she pulls out an E.T. plushie with a little note that says  _ Baby’s First Alien _ .

 

“They’ll love it,” Alex says with a smile, “even though Elle is technically her own first alien.”

 

“They’re all doing well?” Maggie asks. In response, Alex pulls her phone from her pocket and shows Maggie some photos of the small family.

 

“They look so happy,” Maggie says, wistfully.

 

“Yeah, they do,” Alex agrees.

 

“Did you ever think that we’d have that?” Maggie asks, and Alex feels her blood run cold at the question.

 

“I used to think we would. It was a pipe dream.”

 

“What ever happened to us, Alex?” Maggie asks, leaning forward. “What went wrong?”

 

Alex smiles sadly. “You know very well what went wrong. We worked all the time. We grew apart. We fought. And at the end of it all, we were basically roommates with matching rings.”

 

“How did we let it get that bad?” 

 

“It just… it happened so slowly it felt like it wasn’t happening at all. And then it was too late.”

 

“Did you ever love me?” Maggie asks.

 

“How could you even ask that?? Of course I did.”

 

“Do you still love me?”

 

Alex smiles. “I find myself praying for your happiness more than my own.”

 

“Alex Danvers praying? God, you really have changed.”

 

“My mom took me to synagogue a while after everything went down, and I don’t know if I believe in God anymore, but praying does give me time to get my thoughts in order, and it definitely helps calm me down. I’ve been working on my anger a lot, on letting people in when I need them. On accepting there are things I can’t control.”

 

“That sounds… healthy.”

 

“Annoyingly so,” Alex agrees.

 

“I don’t really pray,” Maggie says, “but I do think about you, daily. And I always wish that you’re having a good day.”

 

“That’s kind of you.”

 

“It’s the least I could do. I walked out on us, and I’ll always be so sorry for that.” Alex reaches across the table, and takes Maggie’s hand in her own. Tears glisten in both their eyes, though none of them fall. 

 

“I let you go,” Alex said simply. “We both… we both needed time apart to figure things out.”

 

“Do you think there’ll ever be a time where we come back together?” Maggie asks, hopeful, honest.

 

“I hope so,” Alex whispers.

 

“Me, too.” Maggie replies.

 

And it’s not much, a small whisper between two old lovers. But it’s the start of a new beginning, of the universe giving them a second chance, more time to find the happiness they’re destined to have together.

 

They sit, and they stare at each other over cold coffee and light shines brightly through the window, the skies clearer than they’ve ever been, and they know, they just know.

 

Everything will be alright.

**Author's Note:**

> let me know what u think and then come find me at murdershegoat on tumblr


End file.
